The second PART of Al Tapone's devilishly escape plan involved another daring dare derrific: paying off the guards! He had amassed a mass of wads of money to pay them off, every single one of them. The married ones were, however, another matter. They simply could not be bribed. Taking matters into his own horribly disfigured hands, he cracked all of their necks. With his amazingly naïve yet unnerving plan, he was able to walk out of the prison in full view of plain sight! The guards looked the other way! His plan of making them all cross-eyed worked!

Having regained his freedom yesterday once more, he maggi savored his freedom , running through the treetops and hillsides are alive to the sound of music. He breathed the freshly befouled air of Chicago, Detroit City and recharged his business acumen-cum-crime acumen. Now it was time to take back his city from his main rival(competitor) and main enemenity(opponent) – the evil Don, the Godmother himselve, the distinguished, the unholy, the muttering feeble idiot, the much respected and well loved Don himselfs, DON VITO CORLEEYOHNIO! Who shouted "I AM CORLLEEEYOHNIO!! I WANT TEEPEE FOR MY BUNG WHOLE!!!!"

It was the ultimate gangstah showdown!! The Italian Mafia vs… the Chicago Bears! Sicily versus Bronx! An ultimate fighting showdown to the finish line!

A direct consequence is the result of a rudderless inaction.

A falling star is the result of a once-in-a-blue-moon disappointment in the heavens.

A tree is the result of a seed.

A monkey wrench is the result of primate inactivity resulting in the need for tool use.

A strawberry patch is the result of coloring crayons in a fruity mind.

A strangled heap is the result of conflagrations of the maximum kind.

An ID picture is the result of strangeness and/or invasion of privacy/need to be loved.

A boon or bane is a direct consequence of truth. Truth or consequence?

In the silence a darkness fills the void

I cannot see anything more than my thoughts forming and dissipating

Is there no hope

Is there no hope

What is everyone working for, anyway?

Why fill your time with idle pastimes and vague pursuits?

Pass around time like it was a ball to be played with.

What is everybody smiling about?

People people walking around in their disconnected worlds

Never noticing the buzzing that grows louder with each passing minute

I’d like to trash all of their cell phones

And cram it down their throats

What is art for?

What is love?

Nobody can answer me

For they do not know themselves

I’m tired of being this way

I’m sick and tired

Dead and tired

Dead end tired

Buried with no hope of resolution

Rescue me rescue me rescue me rescue me

The evil genius Al Tapone was in jail for the meantime, but for the meantime he had a daredevilishly daring escape-proof plan! His captors, the police state of Chicago, were merciless, cruel, and heartfelt, but he was more everything than them! He was not called a crime boss lord mob gangster flangster for nuthin’. His flunkies were all dead and forgotten or transferred to minimum security facility, except for one or three named Bob. He was all alonesome and all alonely in this world, but he was used to it three times.

Pushing his bulk around, he had made efriends and partners and now ruled all of the humble prisoners. Using promises of wealth and recognition beyond fame, the other prisoners blindly followed him whereevil he went, which was annoying at times when he went into the bathroom to take a crap. He would then kick asses around, except his own.

Without further adue, or maybe one or two adieus, he put his plan into action. He began the most original, and most daring and most creative escape plan ever built – he started digging out an escape tunnel under his or her cell!!! Using only a spoon that he had shaped into a shovel, he scraped and scraped and scraped and scraped all day and all night for 367 days scraping scraping scraping and scraping until lo behold! There underneath his bed was a 1-foot hole in diameter 1 foot deep. He now had a place to hide his diary. There were a few instances when he was almost discovered by the guards, but using his fantastic hindsight and foresight he had posted sentries outside his cell door. When the guards were suspiciously approaching the digging sound in his cell, his sentries pummeled the guards, thus ensuring the non-discovery of the secret tunnel. He was now ready to put the second phase of his plan into action!

What? No blog entry for December??

Yeah. Screw you and go back to sleep.

I’m not asleep, you are.

Oh yeah. Screw you anyway.

So what are you dreaming about?

None of your dagnabbed business. It’s absolutely none of your business that I was dreaming about a girl.

A girl, eh? Who in particular?

None of your frickinning business.

It was about Maria, wasn’t it?

How in the nine hells did you guess?

There are 7 circles of hell. I guessed.

Well, you guessed right. Now leave me alone.

She’s a nice girl.

Oh, sod off. You don’t know anything about her.

Yes, I do. She’s a charming and friendly girl.

You’re just guessing again. You fool.

She even kissed me on the cheek.

Oh really now? You’ve just proven that you don’t know anything about her, you twit.

Why isn’t she the type of girl to give kisses?

No.

How sure are you?

I’m deadly sure. Sure as the dumb head on your dumb shoulders.

Okay I’ll take your word for it.

You do that. And close the door on your way out.

You don’t have a door.

Bar the window, then.

It really bothers you to talk about her, doesn’t it?

Talk? It bothers me to even think about that creature.

So tell me about her then.

Are you sure you want to know about her? She’s a depraved being. Capable of such evil.

Oh come on. You’re exaggerating.

Maybe.

So… tell me about her?

Some other time. I’m just saying all of this stuff so that my December will have at least one entry.

What the…?

Yes.

Happy yet fulfilled

A side stepping oxymoron

A blink or two

Vulgar excesses undermined

Underneath the overture

A misuse of abuse

A sincere heartfelt lie

Colordeaf

A “Mona Lisa Frown”

Moronic imbeciles with a stroke of genius

Dancing clowns on a sad, sunny day

A batty creature

A slam-dunk side-stepping turnover

Wearing the pants in a pseudo-relationship

Sleeping on a couch when you don’t have a bed in the first place

Creative boredom

Stimulating excess of laziness

Mellow touch, yellow liver

Splendid splendiferous splendor

Harbinger of impending omens

Picking up a pick up with your bear hands

Alladin had burst forth with Excedrin. He was honking mad and angry to boot. He had been stripped of his magic lamp and cramps in his stomach. The evil weevil Kneivel bad magician wizard hat outwitted (outlast, survive) him and taken his magic lampser. He had to had to had to take it back at all coss.

Rounding up his camels, his men, his saddles, and his bacon, he traveled to a journey of self enlightenment and splitting headaches. Unfortunately, most of his men were morons and died in the desert, wearing nothing but G strings and exposed to the heat of the sun summer. To his great big galoohampin surprise, he found that the wizzer in the middle of the desert oasis, taking a rest and smiling evilly (wickedly) at the princess, whom he had kidnapped (taken for granted), and whom was a total moron. He was stroking the lamp like it was his, his, and his alone. “That’s not true,” thought Allading, “that lamp is mine, mine, all mind.”

Unfordunately, the heevil wizar had heard him, because Alladint always had thought out loud (809 decibels, same level as a jet engine). “Aha! Alladoin! You have followed me! (Isn’t it obvious? –ed.) Now you shall meet the same fate as a dead man! (lousy line. Please change – ed.)” shouted the wizardo. “Hmmphphsphmddh,” said the princess Jasmint, who was gagged. “Aha! Yourself!” shouted back Alladim, who was dumm and thereforce could not think of a witty retort.

“I have the genie with me! You cannot win! Give Up!” hahahaed the wizard. “You may have the lamp and/or the genie, but you doughnut have what I have!” grimaced Alldin. “And what is that? Fool!” hehehehed the quizzard. “I have the power of love!!” surprise attacked Alladings, exposing his barenaked hairy chest and invoking the power of the Carebears Stare!! With a complete shock the evil opponent took a dive and scored 9.3 with the judges, much to the applause of everyone in the audience.

It was finally all over. Allagring had found the lamp, rescued the princess, and defeated the evil wizard!! They retired all into the sunset and lived happily ever gotesco.